Larry Kahaner

Archive for the tag “novel writing”

Why the Pandemic Isn’t Panning out for Writers Like Me

By Larry Kahaner

Image for post
Edwin Hooper (Unsplash)

(This article first appeared in Pandemic Diaries.)

When my state of Maryland went into full lockdown in mid-March, I did not see the carnage ahead. All I thought was: “Okay, I have to stay inside for a while except for trips to the grocery store, and I will have plenty of time to work on my novel-in-progress.”

I saw my foreseeable life as if I were living the proverbial writers’ dream retreat. No distractions, no calls, no one wanting anything from me. All I had to do was take care of my basic needs, and those of my wife, and I would be free to be creative.

Three-plus months later, my dream hasn’t happened, and I know why. (Please set aside the looming spectre of deaths for just a minute — if you can.)

Contrary to popular belief, not all writers, painters, poets, sculptors, and artists are introverts. An introvert isn’t someone who sits at home by themselves and shuts others out. An introvert is a person who gets much, if not all, of their creative energy from inside their head. In a way, they are self-propelling. Moreover, an introvert has a limit on being with others especially at loud parties or large events. At some point, they must retreat to maintain their stability. Introverts aren’t anti-social; there’s just so much they can take of others.

An extrovert, on the other hand, is someone who gets their creative juices flowing by being with other people.

I am an extrovert.

I get my inspiration and ideas from sitting in a café, watching and eavesdropping on other people (not in a creepy way). I receive creative power and narrative imagination from yakking in my condo parking lot with my eccentric and sometimes annoying neighbors, chatting with retail clerks, and most of all, having lunch or cocktails with friends and family. After a few beers at a pub and loud chatter, I am not drained but energized.

It’s not that I abhor being alone with my own thoughts. Hell, I’ve been a writer for decades and riding solo is part of the gig, but I fill up my creative tank when I spend time with others.

The pandemic has erased that.

Sure, I am still writing my novel, but my output has been poor, not my usual progress. On the plus side, I had my first humor piece published. After all, humor comes from pain, and I am in a lot of it. See: ‘Quality,’ not ‘Quantity’ of Infections is How I Judge my Work, Says Kevin the Coronavirus .

There’s another factor at play. Perhaps the biggest one. Sorrow. I find myself surfing the web too much, watching TV news too much and worrying too much about what’s going on right now. I need to keep tabs on the horribleness, and it saps my energy.

Lest you think I’m being a whiny-baby, I count my blessings. I have food, shelter and I’ve been working from home for many years, so I have an income from non-fiction writing. Most of all, I have not gotten sick from the virus.

I dream that when this is over — and it will be — we will see a surge of all kinds of creative works worldwide: Street art, concerts, public sculptures, plays, and people like me sitting in bars getting energized and creative.

Take heart extroverts. Our time will return.

Larry Kahaner has been a serious journalist and writer for decades. Now, not so much — serious that is. Except for this article.

Stop Writing Crappy Fantasy Novels

Stop Writing Crappy Fantasy Novels

By Larry Kahaner

This is one of those blog posts that gets me in trouble.

I don’t do it on purpose. It’s just that some things bug me, and I can’t be quiet about it.dummies-161x200

Here it is: Stop writing crappy dystopian, sci-fi, and fantasy novels. I know I’m lumping them together, but they’re related as far as my beef is concerned. In fact, I’m just going to use the word fantasy from now on to encompasses these three genres.

Why do so many people write terrible fantasy novels? Because it’s easy.

Whoa. Writing a book is easy? No, never. Writing is hard. I know; I’ve written many books, fiction and non-fiction, and anyone who can finish a book gets an attaboy or attagirl from me.

What I’m talking about are writers who use the fantasy form to write awful books, because this form, more than any other (except maybe romance novels; I’ll get to you in a subsequent post) allows writers to be lazy and defraud their readers.

Here’s an example: One of your characters is trapped in a room and there’s no way out. Suddenly, they fish out a special piece of something from their pocket that transports them away. We had no clue about this magical item beforehand. It’s lazy writing. Its cheating. One of the hallmarks of strong authors is the ability to put their protagonist in a bind and get him or her out cleverly without resorting to trickery. Mystery writers are usually pretty good about it without pulling out a gun that just happened to be hidden in someone’s boot. But even some bestselling authors succumb to a savior parachuting in – a rescuer we’ve not seen before. In one mystery novel I read from a super successful author you were to wonder about the killer’s identity. As you should. Surprise. It was a long lost twin who came into the picture toward the book’s end. We had no idea this person existed and there were no clues to his even being alive. Cheater.

Fantasy author Patrick Rothfuss alludes to this problem when it comes to using magic. He writes: “If you want to write a fantasy story with Norse gods, sentient robots, and telepathic dinosaurs, you can do just that. Want to throw in a vampire and a lesbian unicorn while you’re at it? Go ahead. Nothing’s off limits. But the endless possibility of the genre is a trap. It’s easy to get distracted by the glittering props available to you and forget what you’re supposed to be doing: telling a good story. Don’t get me wrong, magic is cool. But a nervous mother singing to her child at night while something moves quietly through the dark outside her house? That’s a story. Handled properly, it’s more dramatic than any apocalypse or goblin army could ever be.”

Exactly. You can’t tell a strong story if you’re always relying on magic, bogus superpowers or outlandish ‘saves.’

How to prevent this from ruining your book is actually pretty easy. Don’t write yourself into a corner just because you want to make your work as dramatic, scary or provocative as possible. It’s okay not to know ahead of time how a character will get out of a jam, but do it in such as way that’s not ridiculous or unexpected.

Respect your readers, okay?

 

What if the US were run like a corporation and a madman was in charge? Check out my  latest thriller “USA, Inc.” now available in eBook and paperback. All my books have a money-back guarantee.

Writers: Don’t be a Victim of Beginner’s Luck

Writers: Don’t be a Victim of Beginner’s Luck

By Larry Kahaner

How many times have you read an author’s first book and it was terrific? The second, not so much, and the third, well…

alchemist-book-cover

Beginner’s luck is crucial to this story.

Were they blessed with beginner’s luck, the phenomenon that allows first-time fishers to catch the big one and novice archers to hit the bull’s-eye?

I’ve been thinking about beginner’s luck since re-reading The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. In this story, the shepherd Santiago enjoys beginner’s luck when he decides to travel to Africa. He sells his sheep quickly and easily (that’s the luck) to finance his trip and is on his way to fulfill his ‘personal legend.’ The rest of the road is rocky and he encounters many situations that test his mettle. He does indeed meet an Alchemist whose last words to Santiago are: “Every search begins with beginners luck and ends with the victor being severely tested.”

Questions come quickly when it comes to writers and beginner’s luck. Is that all they had in them – that one amazing book? Was it a publishing industry fad fluke? Did they take their talent for granted and not try harder? And, the classic, ‘success went to their head and they got lazy.’

I chalk it up to beginner’s luck which is not some magical belief but a real thing that can work to our advantage if we understand how it operates. Here’s how:

  • Beginners have nothing to lose. Writers artists and musicians do their most imaginative and inspired work when they don’t have an image to maintain, and when they don’t care about how it’s received by critics. They are free to create a work that is unique, using their own voice, and without preconceived notions holding them back.
  • Beginners don’t know the rules. They see the world in their own way and don’t feel the need to conform to standards of creativity pushed by others. I find this aspect common in writers who pen the most avant-garde first novels then are afraid of keeping up the pace and thus revert to less exciting prose because they’re afraid of reaching for new heights again. Failure is easy; success is hard.
  • Beginners rarely have expectations beyond finishing the work. This allows them to keep an eye on the final goal and not what others will think of it. This eliminates self-censorship, a serial killer of creative writing. Say, what was that annoying song? Come From the Heart (I had to look it up.):

You got to sing like you don’t need the money

Love like you’ll never get hurt

You got to dance like nobody’s watchin’

It’s gotta come from the heart

If you want it to work

Great lyrics, excellent advice, but it was irritating to hear lousy versions of it played at every wedding and bar mitzvah I have attended for the last twenty years. Here’s a good cover by Guy Clark.  His wife Susanna Clark composed the song.

Here’s the takeaway. Allow yourself to write every day with beginner’s luck and know that you can keep receiving its gifts if you pay attention to its pitfalls.

(If you’re curious, you can read more about beginner’s luck on Wikipedia. There’s some science behind it.)

 

What if the US were run like a corporation and a madman was in charge? Check out Larry Kahaner’s latest thriller “USA, Inc.” now available in eBook and paperback. All my books have a money back guarantee.

Why Writers Should Watch “The Fear of 13”

Why Writers Should Watch “The Fear of 13”

By Larry Kahaner

If you agree that all prose – fiction or non-fiction – comes down to compelling storytelling, then the documentary The Fear of 13 is a must-watch. All writers can learn from it.

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Click the image to watch the trailer

 

The movie concerns Nick Yarris, a convicted murderer who has spent 23 years on death row. Except for some flashbacks, the movie focuses on Yarris talking into the camera. Dressed in prison garb, seated in a dark cell, Yarris weaves a can’t-look-away tale of his incarceration, escape from prison (he was on the lam for about a month), then brought back to prison where he was beaten and abused by guards. He tells stories about his childhood, his drug addiction, the lives and loves of gay prisoners, how he met and married a woman who visited him behind bars, and how the new science of DNA would set him free – or would it? Did he really want it? At one point, fed up with prison he petitioned the court to comply with a convicted prisoner’s right to have his execution carried out. He wanted to die even though he professed his innocence.

This push-pull is the brilliance of director Don Sington. We are kept off balance as we rethink what is before us: Is Yarris still in prison or is the background simply a dark empty room? Is Yarris wearing convict clothes or a prison-type shirt? Was Yarris already executed and this is the story of his life? As his unbelievable account unfolds, you never know – until the end – and I’m not going to tell you.

While the director brings his skills, so does the convicted killer. At one point, before being thrown in solitary, a prison guard points Yarris to an empty cell and says “take those books with you.” Yarris, who only went as far as the 8th grade, complies. Is this another cruel bit of torture? Will the guard grab the books back or is it another way to catch Yarris breaking a rule so the guard can beat him? You don’t know until Yarris explains that this tiny act of kindness started him reading books for the first time. He consulted dictionaries to learn all the words he didn’t know. And there were plenty. Indeed, that’s where the title comes from. Yarris is proud to have learned the complicated word ‘triskaidekaphobia,’ the fear of the number 13.

As a prisoner, he had plenty of time to read. He says that he devoured over a thousand books, mostly popular novels, and this is clearly were he gets his storytelling prowess. He obviously learned what all writers know. If you want to tell stories, you must read, and read, and read.

His ability to grab the viewer and pull him in is outmatched by anyone I’ve read or seen in recent years. Again, the room is empty. It’s only Yarris. It’s only words, yet he never loosens his grip on you. You’re forced on the ride, and it’s a dark ride for sure.

His stories are so fantastic – and I mean that in the true sense of the word: “fantasy-like” – that the director was forced to disclaim at the beginning that Yarris’ stories have been verified. Whether he did or not really doesn’t even matter.

I defy anyone – writer or not – to watch Yarris and not appreciate his immense power of storytelling.

(P.S. – The movie came out in 2015. It’s available on Netflix and elsewhere.)

A New Era of Pulp Fiction?

A New Era of Pulp Fiction?

By Larry Kahaner

I have been waiting for an announcement like James Patterson’s “Book Shots” to cement my ongoing belief that the modern age of pulp fiction is upon us.book shots cover

Patterson’s new book machine is producing novels “under 150 pages for under $5.” It promises: “Life moves fast – books should too… Impossible to put down. Read on any device.” The website also touts: “All Thriller. No Filler.”

Swell, baby.

The reason for this foray into modern pulp with their short-page count and compelling covers is obvious. Our attention spans are shorter, and we all carry our phones and devices around with us. But the idea is cleverer than that. These books are first focusing on thrillers and romances therefore adhering to the top two reasons why people read novels: entertainment and escape. These genres offer both – in spades, sweetheart.

spicy detective - Copy           As many of you know, I’m a fan of pulp novels. I relish the fast pace, the vivid language and colorful characters. These pulps (named for the cheap paper they were printed on) spawned a stable of fast-writing authors who were paid miserly and, in order to make a living, churned out books by the cartful. In between books they wrote serials and short stories for magazines like Black Mask and Argosy. They moved back and forth with ease.

The books were short, cheap, (yes, I mean inexpensive) engaging, had tons of action, and their lurid covers promised titillation. Ditto for the pulp magazines.

From these pulpster ranks came great writers like Raymond Chandler, Mickey Spillane, Dashiell Hammett, L. Sprague de Camp, John D. MacDonald and Robert Heinlein. They honed their skills by writing fast and hooking readers even faster.

What I see now mimics the age of pulps. Online magazines have taken the place of physical magazines along with lots of writers who are writing lots of books. I especially see this in the indie book explosion where many authors produce books by the score charging low prices and even giving away free copies to entice readers to their later works.

But here’s the killer difference. Most of the modern-day pulpsters are not working for  publishers who pay them a pittance. (I don’t know what Book Shots pays.) They’re taking a flyer on themselves, paying their own way into the self-publishing game and ginning up their own covers. They no longer need a jamoke with a printing press.USA Inc 25 May 2016 KINDLE

What happens next? Will we see world-class writers emerge from this burgeoning sea of modern pulp authors? Will publishing history repeat itself?

I certainly hope so. Between prolific indie authors and commercial powerhouses like Patterson’s Book Shots, everything is in place for a new generation of writers to pay their dues and take their place with the break-out pulpsters of the past.

Shameless plug: To read an excerpt from my Kindle Scout book “USA, Inc.” click here. If it is nominated, you get a free e-book and my appreciation.

Why an Establishment Author is Doing Amazon’s Kindle Scout – Part 2

Part 2: The Hidden Cleverness of Amazon

By Larry Kahaner

Amazon’s Kindle Scout program makes my head spin. It’s clever in ways that you don’t see. (Read “Part 1: The Weirdest Writing Thing I’ve Ever Done.“)

USA Inc 25 May 2016 KINDLE

Amazon has disrupted the traditional publishing business which consists of the following flow: the author who writes the book, to the agent who acts as a filter for publishers and the publisher who produces the book. The last link in the chain is the bookstore. In the olden days, the publisher would not only acquire, edit and print, but market, promote and sell the book. However, in the past few years, publishers have taken less of a role in marketing, promotion and publicity, leaving much of it to authors. (Except for top authors who still get this treatment even though their books don’t need it.) And publishers certainly do far less editing and working with authors’ writing than ever before.

At every step in this worn-out process, Amazon has inserted their monkey wrench. They took on bookstores by making physical browsing obsolete. You now can read the first few pages of any book on line without charge. You can even return an e-book if you don’t like it. For better or worse, bookstores are disappearing or morphing into coffeehouses.

Next, e-books. Although they didn’t invent e-books, they made it a real business. E-books cut publishers hold on physical printing. Unfortunately, e-books led to lot of crappy books, because Amazon and others made publishing  e-books just too easy. It’s a shame because a lot of really good books, from unknown and even known authors, are being drowned in a sea of publishing dreck. We need a filter, someone like an agent.

Behold: Kindle Scout.

When an author submits a book to Kindle Scout, the editors at Amazon (many of whom are highly-skilled editors laid off by the publishing industry during the recession) become the first filter, the job of agents. They don’t accept every book that comes their way which is a plus for potential readers because they don’t have to wade through a ton of poor books to find one they want to read.

But it gets better.

Readers, who are attracted to the cover and the teaser line, read the excerpt and vote if they would like to read more. Authors, of course, are compelled to not only produce a ‘selling cover’ but the promotional material, and then cajole readers to sample the excerpt. In essence, authors are doing the jobs that traditional publishers have given up on – which publishers now expect most authors to do anyway. As an incentive for doing this work, Amazon gives authors about half of the proceeds, a much larger chunk than traditional publishers.

But wait, there’s more.

If your book is not chosen to be published by Kindle Scout, many authors will then self-publish because they already have a great cover, followers who voted for their book and the confidence and marketing/promotion skills they learned during the campaign. Kindle Scout is like a training program for authors.

The best part is that readers have their pick of professionally-written, vetted books that are a cut above the slap-dashed self-published books that are flooding the market.
Bottom line for Amazon: They get to sell better-written books with compelling covers by authors who know the business side of writing.

Amazon is just so damn clever.

Shameless plug: To read an excerpt from my Kindle Scout book “USA, Inc.” click here. If it is nominated, you get a free e-book and my appreciation.

 

Why an Establishment Author is Doing Amazon’s Kindle Scout

Part 1: The Weirdest Writing Thing I’ve Ever Done

By Larry Kahaner

 

In my entire writing career, this may be the weirdest thing I’ve done – and I once interviewed a convicted serial killer who asked me to write a book exonerating him while he boasted of his crimes.

I am participating in Amazon’s Kindle Scout program as an author.

But before I get to that, and for those of you who don’t know me, I am a

USA Inc 25 May 2016 KINDLE

traditionally published non-fiction author. This means that big publishers have published my books. I’ve been doing it for a long while, and I’ve been successful which to me means that my books are on shelves where people can see them (at least for a while), they sell on line and I’ve made a living for my family. See my books here. I also do other writing jobs like ghostwriting, magazine writing and whatever else comes my way.

My name isn’t a household word, except in my own home – and even that’s not always a lock.

I have seen the publishing business change drastically in the past few years. Like many legacy industries, they’ve been buffeted by technology most notably e-books and the internet. Even if you don’t follow the book biz you’ve seen the changes: Remember browsing in bookstores? Have a Kindle or read on your iPad? Okay, so you’ve seen it, but do you also know that Amazon sells 45 percent of books sold in the US? That’s an astonishing statistic.

(Aside: I’ve been a business reporter most of my life – still am – worked at Business Week and other places and one thing that I’ve noticed about the publishing business is that nobody ever walked into a bookstore and said: “I’d like the latest Random House book, please.” I’ll leave that to the branding experts to parse.)

Amid all of this chaos, Amazon has introduced a program called Kindle Scout which is a hybrid of traditional and reader-powered publishing. The way it works is that people go onto the site, read excerpts of books, and nominate the ones they like. After 30 days, Amazon decides which of the books to publish through their imprint, Kindle Press. If you nominate a book that is selected for publication, you get an early, free copy of the book and the author receives a contract and $1,500. The more nominations a book receives, the more likely it gets discovered by the Kindle Scout team, but Amazon still has the last word.

Although you may not fully understand or appreciate the logic, the book business doesn’t see me as a potential novelist, only a non-fiction author. In essence, I’m starting over. (For example, my agent doesn’t handle fiction although she suggested a few people.)

I worked on my novel for about 3 years and now, what to do? In fact, why did I even write a novel? I wasn’t used to working without an advance, so that was new to me, but I wanted to see if I could write fiction. Think of it as professional curiosity.

Should I try traditional publishers? First, I would have to get an agent, then he or she would try to sell it. Next, it would take months or longer for a publisher to… and blah, blah, blah. I’m writing a thriller not YA, fantasy or romance – these are the hot spots – so I’m already an outlier. Here’s another factoid: 50 percent of all sold books are romance novels. And one more, the large publishers make most of their money from their top half-dozen authors. Think Stephen King, J.K Rowling, James Patterson and Jackie Collins. Nothing against these folks, but that’s where publishers focus their resources, because it’s where they make their money.

When I sat back with my evening martini, the thought of going through the arduous and time-consuming process of dealing with traditional publishers made the gin taste like kerosene and the olives turn mushy. I wasn’t in the mood to self-publish so Kindle Scout here I come.

I’ve already made the first cut – they don’t accept every book – and in Part 2, I will explain some tricks and tips that I can offer from my short experience if you’re interested in going this publishing route.

For now, to see my book “USA, Inc.” go here.  If you think this is a shameless ploy to get your vote, you’re wrong. Read the excerpts and decide if this is something you’d like to read further. It’s not just a popularity contest, or an exercise in social media vote-getting, but tantamount to skimming the first few pages of a book and saying: “Hey, this looks promising” or “It’s not really for me.” I like that aspect. It’s got some integrity. It’s one reason why I chose Kindle Scout.

“Part 2: What You Should Know Before Doing Amazon’s Kindle Scout,” coming up in a few days.

 

 

Writing Prompts are Dumb and a Waste of Time

By Larry Kahaner

I must say it, no matter how much you’re going to hate me: Writing prompts are dumb.

I don’t know any working writers who use them.

zombie prompts

Yeah, this is a real book.

Why would you spend time and energy on something that you’re not going to use, something that’s supposed to “get your creative juices flowing” and then toss aside?

Why not just start working on your short story, book, blog or whatever you’re trying to churn out? That’s how you get your creative spark ignited.

I know, I know… many new writers feel naked without the cloak of writing prompts. They love ’em. Websites have lists and lists of ideas like: “Write about a day in which everything went wrong” or “what would happen if we found out that we actually could breathe on the moon?” You want to write about these things? Fine. Go ahead and write a story or novel based on one of these premises, but why waste time writing a few pages just to get your engines revved?

I can hear the cries now: “But I need something that I can throw out as I get my ‘writing mind’ in gear.” What are you, a car on a cold day that needs to be warmed up? (Actually, you haven’t had to do that with cars for about the last 20 years.) I will admit that sometimes what we write first thing in the day is not as good as what we write a few pages down the line. That’s to be expected. The brain gets in the groove like it does for all jobs (not just writing) that we undertake. When you’re done for the day, week, or even the whole book, pronounce your work a first draft and rewrite it. That’s what writing is, not some phony-balony prompt that someone gives us.

My guess is that writing prompts were the product of creative writing teachers who didn’t think students were smart or creative enough to come up with their own ideas. Bull. Students have lots of great ideas. Let them loose. For whatever reason, the concept of prompts has been passed along to where there are entire books devoted to writing prompts. Don’t believe me? Go on Amazon.com and type “writing prompt books.” I saw one that touted “1200 Creative Writing Prompts.” They’re even broken down into genres like horror, mystery and romance. I saw prompt books that were written by cats and dogs.

It’s crazy.

Know who else likes writing prompts? Bloggers who write about writing. When you’re searching for something to write about just do a blog about prompts. Throw out a few ideas, and bing-bang, you’ve got a blog.

If you’re a writer, why waste your time with these distractions? Yes, that’s what prompts are. Distractions from your real writing. It’s no different than procrastinating, not wanting to do the hard work of writing. Some people call it ‘writers’ block,’ a concept which I don’t believe exists. Here’s my blog on this fallacy.

In their heart-of-hearts, why do people love prompts? They’re safe; no one will read them (unless you’re in class) so you don’t have to endure criticism of your work. More important, you can make believe you’re working on your novel (Hey, I’m writing, ain’t  I?) and you won’t feel so bad about not sitting your butt in the chair and really doing the work that needs to be done.

Is all this a bit harsh? I’m not sorry. Not a bit.

If you want to be a writer, stop being such a wuss. Forget prompts.

Just write.

What if the US were run like a corporation and a madman was in charge? Check out my  latest thriller “USA, Inc.” now available in eBook and paperback. All my books have a money-back guarantee. Enjoy the trailer. 

Why an Established Author is Going Indie

By Larry Kahaner

Sheri McInnis has enjoyed success with big publishing houses, but is now going indie with her new books.

sheri mcinnis

Sheri McInnis

Why not go with the big houses if they’ve published you before? Sheri explains it in the following blog entry in ways that make sense for many professional authors. She may be on the cutting edge of book publishing these days with phrases like “multi-published author” making the rounds. A multi-published author is someone who publishes both with traditional publishers as well as independently. (I know; some use the phrase to mean something different.) We’ve witnessed an increasing amount of crossover lately especially from authors who publish an e-book on their own, which is then bought by a legacy publisher. (Witness the self-published book The Martian, later bought by Crown and now a movie blockbuster.) Or, in some cases, traditionally-published authors who, for their own reasons, want to publish a particular work independently – like Sheri. The lines are blurring.

I often voice a low opinion of indie books. Just like anyone with a smartphone seems to think they’re a photographer, anyone with a computer and an internet connection reckons that they’re an author. Yeah, they’re an author, technically speaking, but their stuff often stinks because there is no filter, a role that agents, editors and legacy publishers filled. This sieve kept a lot of poor writing from reaching the bookshelves. Not always, but often. On the other hand, nothing gives me a greater surprise than to read an indie author who has penned a book to make a publisher wish they had paid closer attention to their slush pile. Here’s a recent find: Dream Brother: A Novel by Brian Marggraf. And another: Mintwood Place by Bob Gilbert. One more: The Test of Time by Allen Appel (Allen is a colleague who was also published by large houses).

Thanks to Gordon A. Wilson, on whose website this first appeared, and to Sheri for permission to publish her post.

 

 

The Top 5 Reasons I’m Self-Publishing – Instead of Going Back to the Big Guys

by Sheri McInnis @SLMcInnis

1) CONTROL

I’ve worked with some of the most successful editors in the business – and I was especially fond of my first one at Atria. But that didn’t make the revision process any easier.

Because as much as publishers hail creative freedom, unless you deliver an ‘approved manuscript’ your book won’t even be published. That means there’s subtle pressure on you to take your editor’s notes – whether you agree with them or not.

The editor isn’t the only one who requests changes either. Notes will come from your agent, the editorial assistant, even the publisher. And their input can range anywhere from the helpful to the heartbreaking.

Even the marketing department gets in on things. For instance, the marketing people didn’t like the original title of my first book, so the publisher changed it to Devil May Care. Bad luck for me because at around the same time another ‘devil’ book came out. But you probably heard of that one.devilmaycare

The Devil Wears Prada was so popular, people didn’t just confuse the titles – they actually thought I was Lauren Weisberger! One bookstore manager was so excited to meet because my book was “just flying off the shelves!”

You can’t imagine how disappointed we both were when I got to the store and he had a huge stack of Prada waiting for me to sign.

Remember, there are lots of people who get involved in publishing your book,  and as the author you aren’t the one with the most control.

 

2) TIMING

Even if I signed a contract tomorrow, the book wouldn’t hit the shelves for at least eighteen months – probably more. I simply don’t want to wait that long.

For one thing, I’m not getting any younger. But most importantly, the main part of the book takes place in 2021. There are technological advances and environmental disasters that only make sense with a believable padding of time.

I also have a specific release date in mind – November 11. The book – a supernatural thriller called The Hunter’s Moon – is about witches and this date is pivotal to the main character’s story arc.

But unless I’m Stephen King or Sophia Kinsella, it would be crazy to request a particular release date from a publisher. They have hundreds – if not thousands – of titles carefully staggered over many seasons.

Even then, a publisher has the right to change the release date – which happened on my second book, By Invitation Only. A more popular writer bumped the release by a month. That writer was Sophie Kinsella.

 

3) MONEY

Just a handful of years ago, even a mediocre book advance was in the fifty thousand dollar range (that’s what mine were; though I shared the second with my co-writer).

Unfortunately, publishers didn’t fare well after the 2008 recession. My (former) agent told me most advances were down to about 10% what they were – and the business is still recovering.

The downturn also resulted in less money for promotion. Book tours, launch parties and flashy displays are for only a lucky few writers. So whether you self-publish or not, you still have a huge job of promoting the book yourself – both in terms of time and money.

There are still great book advances out there. Romance writer Jasinda Wilder recently signed a 7-figure book deal with Berkley. Of course she had quite a bit of success already. She’d sold two million e-books as an indie author.

What I find most interesting is that even with a big contract, Jasinda is going to continue to self-publish some titles. According to the Guardian, the most financially successful –  and happy – writers are ones with a foot in both camps.

 

4) PRACTICALITY

In all honesty, it would probably take years – if ever – for me to get another book deal. Neither of my novels were disasters but they didn’t perform as well as expected. What’s worse, I turned into an emotional wreck after the books flopped and actually gave up writing fiction (twice), meaning I wasn’t able to quickly write another book to bounce back.

So why would a publisher take a chance on me when there are so many great first-timers out there? Or thousands of bestselling indie authors who already have a loyal following?

Over and above the performance of my books, I’m launching into a genre that I have no experience in. There’d have to be a lot of changes in the publishing world before someone signed me simply because ‘this idea came to me in a dream.’

If I want to continue writing, I really don’t have a choice but to go indie. Which brings me to  …

 

5) BECAUSE I CAN

Since the beginning of the printing press, books have been expensive and complicated to produce, which is why authors have always been dependent on publishers to print and distribute their work.

However, in just a few short years, indie writers have changed the game completely. Today every writer on the planet has the opportunity to reach millions of readers, and there isn’t the same stigma to self-publishing that there once was. That’s not just a change in the publishing world. It’s a revolution in the way stories are told.

Whether you decide to follow the holy grail, choose to self-publish – or try some combination of the two – it’s an exciting time to be a writer. Telling stories is what really counts, no matter how we get it done.

 

Write the Steamiest Sex Scenes Ever: Guaranteed

Write the Steamiest Sex Scenes Ever: Guaranteed

By Larry Kahaner

When writers ask me how to write sex scenes, I always give them an answer that they hate.

Don’t do it.

Why?

It rarely works and makes you look like an idiot.

Men's Health UK

It’s what you don’t see that’s sexiest (Men’s Health UK)

I’m not sure why, but most authors, even famous and popular ones, can’t write a sex scene to save their lives. I have my theories as to why this is true but it doesn’t matter. No matter whom the author, their sex scenes often come out ludicrous or mechanical. Thriller writers are the worst offenders as are those transitioning from non-fiction to fiction.

Oddly enough, this even holds true for erotica writers. Each time they try to describe the sex act in a new and novel way, with the aim of titillating their readers with something different (and I applaud them for their effort), the result is often farcical.

I don’t mean to say that there aren’t strong sex scene writers out there. There are, but they are rare.

This dearth of bad sex scene writing even has its own award given by the Literary Review. Among the short list finalists his year were two Booker-winning novelists and one from a Pulitzer Prize winning author.

A Guardian article noted: “The Literary Review sets out to find ‘the most egregious passage of sexual description in a work of fiction,’ and describes it as ‘Britain’s most dreaded literary prize.’ Established by Auberon Waugh in 1993, its purpose is to draw attention to ‘perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction, and to discourage them,’ with former winners including Sebastian Faulks, A.A. Gill and Melvyn Bragg.”

Here’s some good (bad) news. “I think this is one of the strongest shortlists in recent years, containing some real literary heavyweights,” said Literary Review’s Jonathan Beckman.

Here’s an article about the winner, Ben Okri for the passage in his book The Age of Magic. This is Okri’s 10th book. He won the Booker in 1991 for The Famished Road and has received, among other prizes, the Commonwealth Writers’ prize, the Aga Khan Prize for Fiction and the Guardian Fiction prize. He’s no slouch but look what he wrote:

“When his hand brushed her nipple it tripped a switch and she came alight. He touched her belly and his hand seemed to burn through her. He lavished on her body indirect touches and bitter-sweet sensations flooded her brain. She became aware of places in her that could only have been concealed there by a god with a sense of humour.

“Adrift on warm currents, no longer of this world, she became aware of him gliding into her. He loved her with gentleness and strength, stroking her neck, praising her face with his hands, till she was broken up and began a low rhythmic wail … The universe was in her and with each movement it unfolded to her. Somewhere in the night a stray rocket went off.”

Okri’s response to winning: “A writer writes what they write and that’s all there is to it.”

So, what to do about your sex scene?

Leave it largely to your readers’ imagination. Start with this: “She took his hand and they walked into the bedroom. Darkness fell.” Spiff it up a bit, talk about clothing, smells and lighting but NOT too much. Your readers will fill in the blanks with their own imaginations, and I can bet that it will be a million times sexier than what you could describe.

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